Thursday, April 03, 2008

Happy(?) Blogday to Me

Today marks a year of Blogging for me. I wonder what I thought I would gain from keeping a diary when I started.
I had been a reader for a while so I think I hoped to share knowledge and experiences, to learn from others who had been there, but I had no idea I would communicate with people so deeply that I would consider them my friends.

Starting this Blog has been a lifeline. I feel so isolated from life around me right now, so withdrawn, I really don't think I would have coped without an outlet that validates my feelings. I think being able to support others has helped too. Knowing I am not the only person in the world to have ever felt this way.

It is odd then to think that such support could, in a way, add to the feeling of loneliness too. I looked back on the Bloggers that I originally connected with. I thought of my first Blogroll. So so so many of them have moved forwards in their journey. On a good day this makes me extremely happy and gives me hope, on a bad day it seems to underline my lack of progress.

I am really feeling left behind right now. I am so worried that I will always be on this side. I am trying to get together a plan of action for my next move but I have lost my way. I feel like I am fighting all the time, it has been going on for so long. I am tired of it all.

I wonder what this Blog will say in a years time?