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Thursday, June 14, 2007

Well I Never....+ Thinking May Actually Work.

There might actually be something in this positive thinking stuff. I can't quite believe that something as simple as just accepting stuff really reduces stress, but you know, I think it does.

Last Friday I found out we had been lapped. Now when I was between pregnancy two and pregnancy three a friend of mine got back in touch. She was about six months pregnant. Even then I wasn't too keen on hanging out with pregnant woman but she's really, really sweet, and she ended up working temporarily in the same school as me. I knew she had suffered a miscarriage the year before and I kind of filled her in on what was going on in our lives. As I said, she was really sweet.

In November she had her little boy. I was newly pregnant with my longest pregnancy. It was quite exciting. I lost the pregnancy in the January but I actually continued to spent a fair bit of time with her and her son. She really seemed to understand and she's a very good listener and I have very few people I've opened up to so it was nice to be able to talk things over.

Anyhoo, I was speaking to her mum on Friday and she just mentioned that my friend is pregnant again. Cue sick feeling. I can't believe people are on to baby number two and we still aren't happily expecting number one. Just. shouldn't. be. like. this.

This announcement would normally have floored me and sent me under a black cloud for at least a week, maybe two but I keep thinking of my acupuncture lady and her advice. This too is going to happen anyway and nothing I can do or say will change that (and of course I wouldn't really want to change it. I just don't want to know about it) so I tried out my newly found positivity.

It's ok. I keep saying it over and over again. And it is because her expecting again really doesn't make me any more or less pregnant, or less likely to be (if that makes sense.) I can't believe how calm I feel, every time it comes into my mind I just say, it is ok. It is.

Now I'm not suggesting I'm overly jolly but I'm not in a huge heap of self pity as I usually would be. I certainly have thought of all the times I may run into her and made a mental note of ways to avoid such meetings.

But I'm ok, because it will happen anyway, and that's ok too.

11 comments:

ultimatejourney said...

That's always hard to hear. I'm impressed at your ability to control your emotions with positive thinking!

Anonymous said...

Hugs.

I truely believe a positive mental attitude does help. It's bloody hard sometimes but it sounds like you have a great mindset to start off with.

Wishing you every success on this cycle.

Mama Bear said...

Getting lapped is So hard. It sounds like you have a wonderful attitude, though. It's really inspiring. Hoping for the best for you this cycle!

Unknown said...

You have a very inspiring attitude. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm going to try this. It's ok, it doesn't affect the possibilities of me getting pregnant anyway. I really liked that.

It's hard getting lapped but I really admire your attitude. I'm going to try and cultivate it too.

Natalie said...

These are the announcements I still dread - the ones who already beat me on baby #1 and are now onto #2. But like you, they used to floor me, while now they just make me a little sad and I shrug my shoulders, and think 'oh well' cuz I think I've come to terms with the fact that it feels like everyone will beat me to it. It doesn't make it any easier, it still blows chunks, but it's less stressful when you just accept it.

And thx so much for the really kind words on my site:-) Have a good weekend!

Ms. Planner said...

Carrie! That is wonderful. You are truly an inspiration. I really like the way that you rationalized that her situation had little bearing on yours. It will happen regardless.

Man, I'm going to have to try some of what you're having.

Kindly, Ms. P

Laura, the (reluctant) baroness said...

Good for you, and thanks for the advise on how to handle these things. I'm expecting to lapped by many people within the next year. You're absolutely right - it doesn't make us any more or less pregnant, does it? What a great attitude you have!

Geohde said...

It is one of the golden rules of infertility that everyone around you seems to repeatedly get knocked-up. Often accidentally. I've never understood the expression to *fall* pregnant, but I guess it is kinda that easy for most.

Hang in there.

PS Thank you for your very kind comments on my blog, I hereby heartily return the sentiment that you have done amazingly well through what must be a very difficult time.

Tam said...

It is really hard to look around and think that life goes on when ours feels like it has stopped. It will happen for you too, it's good that you have found a way to deal with your emotions. Good on you!!

Anonymous said...

Bravo!

Getting lapped is rough. But it sounds like you have found a good place for you emotionally.