It's All Happening, Or Is It?

I've been back from holiday for over a week now and had great intentions of updating quickly, there has been quite a bit going on.

The holiday was great fun, just what we needed. The days in each port were whirlwind fast as we tried to see as much of each country as possible. The evenings on the ship were amazing. Such good food, reasonable entertainment and friendly people. An added bonus is that the general age range was 50+ (although there were a good number around our age) this meant I felt quite young which was very welcome as I have been feeling very past it lately. Too many bubbly young teachers at work. It was nice to feel spirited again.

The only downside of the whole time away was the fact that I was in the 2WW. CD 1 was due on the Mon and so I was quite excited by its absence, I had decided that if it hadn't arrived by Thur I would be quite safe to POAS in Barcelona. I had this romantic notion of finding out in such a beautiful city. By Wednesday night, however, the dull cramps arrived. I got really quite upset. It is hard enough without all this extra drama. I always find the first couple of cycles after m/c extra traumatic.

Ok, so it was hard to be thrown a scrap of hope but it did lead to a silver lining. It wasn't going to be possible to do blood this cycle but I had already made an appointment to see my GP on the Monday that we arrived home (to ask her if she would go above my consultant and try to refer me for m/c testing directly). This now would be day 5. Yea, blood work for the new clinic could take place this month after all! This means I can return to the old clinic to squeeze in another cycle before Christmas. It isn't as good as being pregnant of course but it is a bonus and it cheered me considerably.

Now I was all geared up. All I had to do was phone the clinic and ask for a day 20 appointment. I hate making these calls. I'm not sure why but I really procrastinate over certain phone calls, they become huge lumps of dread. The reality of the call is always such a relief compared to the build up. I can't work out why I put myself through the anxiety and why I rarely just clear the tasks at the first opportunity.

I hadn't been in touch with this clinic to tell them of the outcome of the pregnancy. On their records I would show six months pregnant so I knew I had all the explaining to do. I should have been in touch with them ages ago but (see last paragraph!) I just have never felt that they deserved an explanation. I was happy to walk away and have nothing more to do with them. Only my recent need to move ahead QUICKLY has made me reconsider.

The phone call didn't go as I'd planned. I asked for a day 20 appointment and she told me I was too late?????? Turns out the clinic is closed for refurbishment. Aghhh. I came off the phone and sat with my head in my hands. I didn't cry, just sat there. To have to cope with not being able to cycle and then it all seemed to work out in the end, why this? Why can't it just be easy.

After about ten minutes of sighing I had another thought. I had recently been told that there was yet another (newly opened) clinic in our area and they had no waiting list yet. I looked up their net pages and liked what I saw. I gave them a phone. They said they thought it may be possible to cycle with them this month. Yea! But I had to have an ovarian assessment and scan. - that evening in an hour and a quarter- if I was to make the cut off for the blood work in time for a decision this cycle. OMG. MR L wasn't even home but he was due in soon. I took the appointment and decided to go for it. He arrived home that very moment, turned around without a grumble (which is unusual when he's expecting to eat!) and off we went.

We only just got there in time. I really liked the clinic. Very nicely presented and the staff seemed thorough. Mr L felt the whole set up was so much more pleasant than the old set up. I am waiting to hear the results of this blood test and to hear whether we will be able to cycle there this month. It is all very rushed, it's not how I like to do things at all. Not a bit BUT I am quite at peace with it all, strangely enough. If we can cycle then I will be pleased to commit despite my lack of previous research (of course I have been Googling ever since and I'm really pleased with my findings) If we can't cycle then I'll be ok with that too. I've done everything possible to make this happen and now there is nothing to be done other than accept the outcome.

(P.s. Has anyone had any experience of the 'Ovarian Assessment Test and AMH blood test - used to determine ovarian reserve' or know the standard results or how does it influence differences in a cycle? )