Sunday, October 26, 2008

In The Right Direction

Thank you all so much for your lovely words, even lovelier given the depressing post. I really appreciate the thoughts :-)

Strangely enough I've had a very good week. After a lot of consideration I think we will go back to treatment (I know-I was so sure I was finished but...) I also decided I wouldn't plan anything more until after the year. The breathing space seems to have brought a (temporary?) peacefulness.

I am quite proud of myself this evening.

My brother and his wife are expecting their second child.
I am pleased they are having another baby, really pleased. I adore my 19 month niece. She is such a sweetie. Perhaps it is because I love my niece so much, or perhaps I am in a better place, but dealing with this pregnancy announcement isn't half as difficult as the last one seemed.
I spoke to my brother and was able to ask about the date for the scan and general stuff like that. I really don't want, or need, to know all the ins and outs of symptoms or growing bumps but I was genuinely interested in how they were doing.

It wasn't about me for once and I am very pleased to have found this place.

On a completely different subject (or maybe slightly related)- I went to the hairdressers this week and changed my look dramatically. I have been feeling so low and boring and ordinary so I decided to go a little wild. My hair is now a vibrant shade of red! I mean really really red.
I was a bit shocked at first but I think I really like it, it is a change and sometimes change is good, no? And it'll grow.

My husband is delighted, he loves my hair but he also thinks, perhaps, I am claiming a bit of the old me back. I know how quickly I can go up and down so we'll see.

But for now it's good.


Geohde said...

Ah Carrie- so glad you're getting a bit of 'you' back.

Oh, and I had red hair for a couple of years, but on me it always used to fade terribly and I am far FAR too slack to ever keep anything up. But I did love it, nevertheless!


christina(apronstrings) said...

i DEMAND a picture!@ i am glad that you are in a better place. i was when it finally happened. though, don't get me wrong that had nothing to do with was months later. but it sure did make the time go by quickly.
i am happy for the hope of you even maybe perhaps finding an itty bitty piece of peace.

luna said...

you sound really well, carrie. I'm so happy to hear your new hair matches your blog!

making those decisions helps moves things along, I find. it's hard being in limbo.

thanks for your sweet comment before.

m said...

How I wish I could get away with red hair - but alas I'm so pasty white that I look like a ghoul! Poo brown is my look.... And change is DEFINITELY a good thing!

Great to read this post....


chicklet said...

I'm so jealous of the red. I tried that with the hairdresser and it was SORTA red, but not BRIGHT red. I want red too!

Emily said...

I'm glad you are moving towards a better place. It was nice to hear how you're doing! Good for you, getting your hair done! A new hair style always makes a girl feel good!

passingwindows said...

Thank you for such a nice comment, it sounds like you have been through the mill too. I'm glad you have found the energy to do another treatment, I hope it goes very well. I love the sound of the red hair, it sounds fab. I also say we need a picture!

Mrs M@sk said...

Welcome back Carrie. Also welcome to the sisterhood of the readheads xo

jaded said...

i could have written this post. last year after my first loss, i had my hair cut into layers with big bright red steaks, it was more than i anticipated, the red was supposed to be a 'copper' but i was embraced it because i need a change. now after my second loss, we have decided to take a brake and it has given me a certain feeling of peace. i hope this break gives you renewed hope

Ms. Planner said...

Hey there Carrie!

I am so pleased to hear from you and darn happy to hear that you are getting a bit of 'you' back.

A big hug from this side of the world. I am so glad to have you back.

Bee Cee said...

Glad you are feeling a bit better and seem to have a plan for the way forward.

Your silence was worrying me, I just want you to know you are not alone, I am always here, whenever you want.

Good for you on the new ' us a pic?

Don't be a stanger...we need you too!

Forever Hopeful said...

Hi Carrie, I know exactly how you were feeling because I was there and it was so hard for me to get back to my blog or even read others. I've been away for awhile as well. This journey is so hard and it takes so much from us and we hit our bottoms so many times.
But we manage to put all ourselves together, heal from it and come back stronger.

So I'm so glad that you are doing better. Love to see your new hair cut.. :) :)

CAM said...

Hi Carrie,
Thanks for the comments on my site. I still visit blogland every once and awhile but haven't been able to write for some time. I am through with treatments but I am so happy that you are trying again! We have explored MANY adoption options and have a meeting with a social worker next month. It's a start. I'll be back to check on you and thanks so much for checking on me! :)

JJ said...

Hi sweetie--always glad to see your posting--Im sorry Im late at commenting. BeeCee and I spoke about you the other day, just saying how much we think about you.

Im glad you seem to be in the place where you feel more at ease!

Tam said...

So glad to see you back sweetie, I'm so sorry I missed your first post, I do think of you often.

I know how hard it is to start again but when the time is right you'll do what you need to do and we'll be right here.

Much love always xxx