It turns out the day 3 or day 5 choice was all academic. Everything you all said made sense but I really wanted to go to blast. Really, really did. Perhaps it is just the thought of doing something different, perhaps it's the thought of getting some answers (even if I don't want to hear them) but I am really down about not getting to day 5.
The clinic had been reluctant right from the start. Even if I had 9 top quality 8 cell embryos on day 3 they would have rather transferred 2 and frozen the rest. This was the one factor that was making me doubt going to blast (if given the choice) I didn't want to force the clinic into something they weren't competent at doing.
It didn't come to that. On Monday Morning the embryologist rang to say that two of the embryos were clearly in the lead and should be transferred back. I was disappointed but a decision was made and that was that.
After being at the clinic it sounds as if the rest of the embryos are a bit of a bunch. Some 5 and 6 cells, others have some fragmentation. It makes me wonder just really how good the two are that are back in. (I don't mean looking at the moment, I mean how good are they truly)
So we transferred 2 8-celled embryos, one a grade 1, the other a grade 1/2. I can't help but think the other embryos being below par must be an indication of how these two will go.
The embryologist said absolutely not and these were two 'pregnancy grade embryos'. I'm not so sure, we've been here before.
I said earlier that my LP support was a little odd. Well I'm back on the lovely Crinone pessaries but this time I am also sniffing Suprefact. (yes, that is a DR drug) Bizarre. I was so concerned about this and the hazy explanations the clinic was giving that I, very cheekily, asked the lovely, and well rounded, Geohde to help me out. She did an awesome explanation, inc diagrams, (I did wonder if I should share her explanations with the nurses as they seem quite confused too!) and I now know how it works. Feel much better but it still seems odd to me.
Now the 2WW. I am in such a foul mood, I can't shake it. I have no positivity about this cycle now. It just isn't happening. Does anyone really get pregnant when only two out of nine embryos are any good? I really hope so but, sadly, I think I'm coming to the conclusion that my eggs are fried. Blah.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
It Was Fun To Think About It
Posted by Carrie at 2:21 PM
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24 comments:
I have a friend who is pg after IVF. They transferred one "pregnancy-quality" embryo and froze one. That was it. They didn't feel the rest had a chance. Yet she's nearly 12 weeks now.
Stop it, stop it, stop it! You are so still in with a chance!
I had 4 embryos in the race. At day 3 there were 2 further ahead but the other weren't lagging by much. The clinic said the 2 outside weren't good enough to freeze and that's when - like you - i gave up.
You know what happened next. One of the embies inside of me is now 24 weeks.
Message is that you never know. I was convinced it was all over.
Just take it easy. Rest as much as you can - i'm now a firm believer in rest to help things along - and those preganancy quality embryos could just prove you wrong.
Thinking of you xx
sorry that it didn't go as well as you had hoped. but! floatsam had lots of embies (i want to say at least 15), they transferred two on day 3-the rest of the embies-died.
she has a three month old at the moment.
they like you better than a stupid plastic dish.
i know it's hard, but hang in ther.
I don't blame you for the way you feel. I was the same way and its so hard to have hope. But I know it can happen. There are lots of proof from other women and I had a friend who only had two embryos (not good quality) and one stuck and had a healthy baby. It can happen and its just hard to believe. We'll all have hope for you. Hang in there and hope the 2ww goes by quickly. Thinking of you.
I hate to be a story teller, but we had 15 out of 17 fertilize and only 2 were good enough to transfer (7 cells each) and only ONE made it to freezing/blast. It's stuck so far.
This could be it, really you cannot judge by the ones that were left. They choose the best, and those were put back in their ideal environment.
That said, I do, definitely do, understand it's hard to be anything but despairing at times. Just hang in there, and know we're all rooting for you too.
You're embryos sound great to me! From the way my last cycle went, I would kill to have embryos that are grade 1/2. (Grade 1 being best, right??) And 8 cell at day 3 is great. Hang in there Lovely!!
As for anyone who has had only a few better embryos out of about 9, I know someone... I believe there were 2 good ones, the rest were not frozen. She is pg.
Send me an email and I'll give you her name.
m.ifthisworks(at)gmail.com
IDK. two 8-celled sounds pretty good to me. By day 3 - 2 out of my 4 were transfered (8-celled, 5 celled). The other two didn't even get watched...they were out of the race completely. So, from my standpoint it sounds pretty hopefull.
Carrie,
Sorry you're feeling down about your chances, but you DO have two embryos in there. It could happen.
My fingers are crossed for you,
J
Thinking of you. For goodness sake, I hope we are both successful this cycle. We deserve it!
Chin up! You have two live ones in you! As Lupus Pie says, you are PUPO, pregnant until proven otherwise!
portia is right, you never know. and you had 2 great looking embryos! it's hard to have hope after failure, but I think you just have to believe there's a chance it can work and go with it. thinking of you during the wait.
2 week wait is such a bitch.
I'll be thinking of you and hope the 2ww passes by fast!!!! (((((hugs))))))
Congrats on getting two awesome embies on board. We all go through the motions and have thoughts like you are experiencing now. So much doubt is thrown into the equation that it is almost impossible to not feel and think like that sometimes, irrational or not.
I think you should continue to think positive. As long as the two they transferred were good quality, it doesn't matter what the quality of the other ones were. Hang in there. Wishing you lots of luck! My egg retrieval is currently looking like Friday.
I very much relate to your feelings about transferring blasts...I told my RE that for this one coming up I want to transfer blasts. Maybe because my 3 day transfer was a BFN and my FET with blasts was a positive, fleeting but positive. Psychological. But the success stories of 3 days transfers speak for themselves! Hang in.
Big hugs - even if you don't "do" hugs :-). You know, while there are some folk that get pregnant on their first cycle and there are folk who get 6 perfect embryos and others that go to blast every time, there are still folk who get pregnant with a single embryo, a grade three embryo, on an IUI cycle, on an FET cycle, on IVF #52 (OK, I exaggerate there) - I hear that there are even folk who get pregnant by having s*x, though I find that VERY hard to believe. All of this is possible - we just don't know what's going to work for US. Hang on in there!
I know it's so easy to become discouraged and feel beaten after having so many disappointments. But you still have those 2 embies in you...there is a chance..try to keep your chin up as much as possible, even though I know it's easier said than done.
Checking in from HK my friend. I don't know what to say, but on the positivity, you work through it however you need to, cuz going into mine, I've got no positivity either. SOmetimes I think I don't even wanna do it cuz I just have so little hope now. Still hoping for you, but I get how much this sucks ass.
I'm sorry that things didn't go perfectly. All I can share--other than my hope that this cycle turns out great for you--is what my doctor told us after our transfer: he said that the grading wasn't "scientific" and that some of the "ugliest embryos he's seen have turned into some of the cutest kids."
And, even if you're having a hard time hoping this 2ww, there are lots of people cheering you on and hoping for you.
Please try not to be blah hun, some of us would kill for a Grade 1 8 cell! I know that doesn't guarantee a baby but you have cleared the first hurdle.
Hoping for you.
Waiting with you my friend.
As I said before, when you can't believe, I will continue to believe for you. Thinking of the three of you. xoxo.
I've heard of people getting pregnant with twins with two crappy embryos.
There is no logic or sense or predicting how any of this is going to go.
I hope you get your miracle.
Here via ICLW.
I'm hoping for you, and look at all these wonderful women who are too!
And, corny as it sounds, but even the word hopeless has hope in it.
Stopping by via ICLW...A fellow IVF cycling this month. Wishing only positive thoughts for you.
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