Meeting my Niece.

Well I'm back home and have survived the trip.

I flew into London City, I love flying into there at the best of times as the flight path goes right down the Thames and it's lovely. Thursday was better than ever. There was a factory fire or something that meant we couldn't land straight away so we were circling central London for about half an hour. It was the most beautiful evening, just on dusk, the views were amazing. It helped me feel so calm and I'm sure that helped a little.

When I turned my phone on there was a message from my brother saying he was waiting outside for me, this wasn't the plan. I usually take the Docklands train. He had heard the rail link was suspended due to the fire so he came for me. I could have got a taxi easily. I thought it was nice of him to do this after all he's quite busy with a brand new baby.

Then we reached the flat. I was so nervous. It sounds so funny but I really didn't know how I'd feel or what my reaction would be when I saw my niece for the first time. I was really afraid that I'd go to pieces or make a scene and that was the last thing I wanted. I didn't. I did gasp as I saw her for the first time but I think it was subtle enough that no one noticed. She is so beautiful and so tiny and perfect and I adore her. My sil brought her through and handed her to me to hold.

I realize this is hardly unusual for anyone else however I've built this moment up for a long time. I was so afraid that I wouldn't handle it or that it would be too much. I still wish there had been more words. Still, over the three days, neither of them asked how I was or acknowledged that this may be difficult. They were both proud and excited and tired and worried that they are getting it right. Mostly though they are a little family.

I wish it could be me.